Press Release 2016
New Wireless Technology for Astronomically Increased Coverage
PASADENA, Calif. April 1, 2016/PN Newswire/ -Wireless Service providers the world over have been able to continue to support the impressive growth of wireless data traffic, up 74% in 2015 globally and 55% in North America. The 5th generation wireless standardization effort aims to greatly increase the capacity of wireless networks for another decade, but there remains a poorly addressed problem of wireless systems, until now. Coverage.
Cell phones, no matter how smart, have little or no connectivity in remote areas and rural canyons, tunnels, submarines or mines. Radio waves are fundamentally shadowed and attenuated by mountains and canyon walls; they do not penetrate through rock or into mines or into salt water. Scuba divers have long complained that cell phones do not work well if at all, underwater. Conductors reflect and attenuate the signals to undetectable levels.
Google’s Loon project, attaching mobile base stations to helium filled balloons attempts to expand rural coverage and can help illuminate canyons and behind mountains, but tunnels, mines, and even some basements and bunkers will remain unreachable.
For this reason, researchers at LIGO Scientific have been exploring alternatives to radio waves. Their recent breakthrough holds great promise for the emerging 6G wireless standard. “We realized that the ‘G’ in 6G is very apropos,” kidded Thorne, “It was rainy season. We were sitting around one rainer day at the Weber Bar and Grill, when we sensed the gravity of the problem. It weighs heavily on the industry because mobiles that fall into coverage holes disappear from the network. That’s when our driver suggested scattering gravity waves.”
Gravity Waves penetrate most any space and are not reflected by conductive rock or saltwater. “Gravitational waves promise superb coverage and deep penetration into mines, with ranges far greater than current base stations,” added the bearish Professor Barry.
Gravity wave detectors sense movements of ten thousandths of the width of a proton, so we should have room on a microchip for truly massive MIMO, the Multiple Input Multiple Output antenna scheme that can, with two more settings, multiply the capacity by Avogadro-sized factors.
This high capacity is particularly important because of the tremendous coverage of over 400 megaparsec range. Multiple-base stations, common in today’s cellular networks would be extraneous. Unfortunately, the communication channel is powered by merging black holes that last about 36 hours, and at a rate of about 40 events per year. So communications with this facility is, regrettably, erratic, and may only reliably work on April Fools’ Days.
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About LIGO Scientific, (https://www.ligo.caltech.edu)
LIGO Scientific Collaboration is a scientific group that was responsible for the first observation of gravitational ways. Really. Rainer Weiss (“Rainer day”) is the spokesperson who along with Kip Thorne (“kidded Thorne”) and Barry Barish (“bearish Professor Barry”) have long been pioneers and advocates of the of the stellar effort. Ronald Drever and Joseph Weber (“Weber Bar and Grill”) were also Fine Men (Feynman) who drove early efforts to confirm Einstein’s predictions of gravitational waves.
The event detected by the LIGO sensors appears to have been the merging of two black holes that were orbiting each other while radiating gravitational waves that decayed their orbit leading to a 0.2 second chirp as the two black holes collapsed into each other’s event horizon. The signal’s amplitude really corresponds to a vibration of the sensors by a just one thousandth of the width of a proton. Really.
About Spectrum Financial Partners, (www.spectrumfinancialPartners.com)
Spectrum Financial Partners, LLC manages private equity funds investing in radio spectrum and partnering with spectrum licensees. We provide consultations and valuation services for maximizing the utility of radio licenses. Spectrum Financial Partners celebrates this remarkable achievement with this puny but fake press release. We hope that the puns will help make these people’s names even more memorable. We hope that you enjoy April Fools’ Day. Discounted comedic services are offered annually on April Fools’ Day. Media Contact: Stephen Wilkus at Stephen.WIlkus@SpectrumFinancialPartners.com